Your wedding day was a dream. You’ve returned from a romantic honeymoon and now the time has come to complete the task you have been putting off – writing thank you letters to all of your generous guests. While this is not a job that many look forward to; it is a necessity. You want to make sure you express your gratitude to everyone who contributed to making your wedding day the unforgettable day that it was. While this can often seem like a daunting responsibility, it is completely doable. Below you can find a few tips and tricks to getting the job done, as well as a few simple rules to follow.
Some friends and family may have forgotten all about those little notes of thanks, yet others wait for their arrival in the mail. Many people put a lot of thought and effort into giving you and your spouse the perfect wedding gift and they would like to know that you were able to open and enjoy it. So as a rule, start the thank yous early! To follow the rules of etiquette, plan to have your cards out by three months after the wedding. That may seem overwhelming but with a little planning, it can be made much easier. Even if you don’t stick to the rules of etiquette exactly you want to be timely.
- Keep a detailed list of all the gifts you received so that writing thank yous is much easier. Many of the registry sites have an option that allows you to put in notes of who gave you certain items. This might be a useful tool to take advantage of.
- Maintain your address list so you are not scrambling to find your great aunt’s home address as her card sits on your desk. You most likely have these addresses already prepared from sending out wedding invitations and there are several websites and apps to assist you with keeping track of all of your guests’ information.
- Buy your stationery in advance. If you will be using some of your wedding photos in your thank you cards, be sure to speak with your photographer in advance about having a few available for your use right away. If you have special stationery in mind make sure that you have more than enough for every guest that attended plus a few extra so there are no surprises.
Thank Them All
Most friends and family are happy to assist you in whatever you need for your wedding, but every person wants to feel that their contribution is appreciated. Go through your list to make sure that you have not left anyone out. Have all these people been added?
- Anyone who gave you a gift
- All groomsmen
- All bridesmaids
- The hosts or anyone that contributed financially to your wedding
- Anyone who assisted you the day of your wedding
- Your officiant
- Someone who may have assisted in a non-traditional way. ie. Did you have someone you really trusted watch your pet so your mind was at ease?
Be sure to add anyone to the list who contributed to your day. If you missed writing a thank you to someone who hosted an engagement party or gave you an early gift, it’s not too late. Make sure to recognize each gesture of kindness.
Make It Fun And Share The Work
It might not be the greatest task in the world but you and your spouse can make thank yous more fun. Getting personalized stationery is one way to make writing thank yous a little more special. Don’t forget to get some nice pens to use. Using a more expensive or fancy item can make a task something to look forward to as it is a little more special.
Set up a space for you and your spouse to work. Perhaps you can make this into a sort of date night with some music or a movie on and a glass of wine.
Of course, you don’t want to take this job on by yourself! Make sure you are splitting up the work. If you prefer to work on your thank yous alone, set aside some time each night do several so that you don’t fall behind. It’s a much more manageable task when you have a small number each night than all of them at once.
If all of this still doesn’t work for you, and you just can’t seem to find the inspiration there is still another option. Hire someone to do it for you! There are several companies that will take on the task for you. Companies like Postable will not only keep track of your addresses for you but will print out cards in a font that looks like handwriting. You are able to type in a customizable message for each individual and the company will send the notes out for you!
What Do I Say?
When writing to thank someone you want to be heartfelt. That being said you also don’t want to be too wordy. Here are some guidelines for writing that will help you move right along.
- Address the gift giver by name. In a case where there are multiple people that contributed to a gift be sure to thank each individual involved.
- Mention what the wedding gift was that you received and how you plan to use it.
- If the gift was monetary, do not mention the amount. Instead, mention how you plan to use the “generous” gift given.
- Include when you will see the gift giver again or mention how wonderful it was to see them at your wedding.
- Choose the appropriate complimentary close. Some common ones to use are:
- With Love,
- Thanks again,
Samples Make It Simple
Are you still struggling to get started? Sometimes an example to model your note after makes the job much easier. Below we have written some simple thank you notes for various situations to be used as an example.
A Thank You To A Close Relative
Dear Aunt Beth and Uncle Todd,
Thank you so much for the beautiful crystal candlesticks you have us for our wedding. They look beautiful on our dining room table and will be wonderful to put out for holiday dinners! We are so grateful that you made the long trip to come and celebrate with us and we look forward to seeing you again at Christmas this year.
Jen and Gavin
A Thank You To A Guest You Do Not Know Well
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Ramirez
Thank you for the wine glasses you gave us. We love red wine and use them almost every night. It was wonderful to finally meet you after hearing such great things about you from dad for so many years. Thank you for celebrating our wedding day with us. We enjoyed every moment and are so glad you were able to attend.
Jen and Gavin
A Thank You For A Cash Gift
Dear Renee and Al,
Thank you so much for the generous gift you gave us for our wedding. We are very excited to start planning the remodel of our kitchen and your gift is such a big help towards that. It was a lot of fun celebrating with you, especially on the dance floor! We appreciate you joining us for our wedding and look forward to seeing you next month at Lauren and Ray’s wedding.
Jen and Gavin